I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
