Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
