I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize