I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
