Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize