you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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