i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
