ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
