dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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