I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
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well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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