So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
