Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
