Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
