I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
