i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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