But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Randomize
