The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize