Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
