End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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