you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Your cock deserves a montage
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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