I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
