Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
