Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
