bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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