That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
