I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
