I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
