Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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