trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
