wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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