Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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