the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Randomize
