as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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