Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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