Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
