I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
