I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
