i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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