you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
there is glitter all over my balls
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