Ambien. No doubt about it.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
