Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
