why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
