No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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