Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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