So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
