I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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