He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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