I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
