community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
