So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I came so hard my ears popped.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize