Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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