every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
