you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize