We won't sleep together?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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